Th love tht lasts. (:

Monday, August 27, 2007

Right.
Ever since saturday until now.
It's been terrible.
It fucking hurts.
Yours words are still haunting me.

Yeahhs.
And note this,
cause after knowing you.
Relationship t me is not an issue anymore.
It just isn't.

Yesterday was bad, I guess.
Wells, I never thought I would do something lik this.
Cause normally if i were t go t th temple and pray,
I would just go in, put my hands together, pray and walk out.

But yesterday,
I went in quietly, kneel down before god.
And asked for his help.
It might sounds stupid.
But at that point of time, I felt only god can help me.
I said a very very long prayer, telling him all that's in my heart.
And I asked for his help.

Went over t grandpa's place for another prayer session.
Went drink, drank, drunk.
5bottles of alcoholic drinks.
Cry lik no one's fucking business.
Serious hangover after I got home.

This morning woke up at 5,
think and think and think.
Conclusion; I simply have no courage t go over and try my luck if I can see him.
Wells. After all, I'm still affected by what he says.
I don't want it t be th last time I'm seeing him.

Talked t phyllis about my problems during Maths lesson.
And I fucking hell held back my tears in school.

Went for Gabriel's funeral today.
God bless.

HougangMall-ed with Phyllis.
And kovan-ed.

Tears fall again while walking home.
Expected it.

Maybe going out drinking again later.
Shall think about it then.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Was it meant t hurt so much?
Why do i have to act lik I'm strong enough t forget you?
Its difficult, t continue t be like this.
How would anyone know the feeling of this?
Am i just too tired? Thinking too much? Or isit true?
Can you come back like th way you want t go back t her that much?
I've so much to say, I've so much i wanna do.
Why did they tell me its so impossible already?
Are they speaking the truth? Why am i still giving myself hope?
Why am i believing so much in fairy tales stories?
why do i have to make myself wait on when i know nothing's gonna happen?
Why is he still so cold towards me? Why do i only have to be his friend?
Why does i still have to put on a smile, when it actually hurt so much inside?
Why can't it just be a happy ending? Why am i so agitated?
Why am i breaking down now?
You're still everything i want, but you've lost the love, for me.
She's a lucky girl, why did she leave you? Why wouldn't you talk to me?
What did i lose in her? Why is t so difficult t erase th pain you had left for me?
Do you know how it hurts now?
Why wouldn't you give my love just your last chance for me?
Why do my pictures have to smile, when it's not suppose t be th case?
I promise i would be a good girl if you come back, i'll promise, i will .
Is everything gonna be like this, forever .......

I'm sorry, sorry for everything. I know everything's my fault, i'll never do it again...


-
Blogged ;

BLOGGER
Photobucket
Joey ' 盈颖.
16. (:

I love my boyfriend. ღ
Bestfriend & darlings in school are loved.
Sisters and love ones are loved.



MY LOVE.
I love th way you touch me, so soft and sensuously.
It makes me tingle all over.

I love th way you kiss me.
It starts a fire deep down inside me, and makes me yearn for you even more.

I love th way you look at me, it makes me feel treasured.
Most of all, I love th way you love me.

When you walk in, my whole day gets better.
And even wnen you're not with me, you're in my thoughts always.

It doesnt matter what we don't have or what we do have,
Th most important thing is tht we have each other, and no one can take tht away.

I'm th luckiest woman in th world,
and I don't need or want anything, but you beside me loving me t th end of our days.


WANTS/NEEDS
Baby's love for me t last,(:
FirstMonth!
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CoupleRings for me&baby.
Roses!
Repair my phone.
DKNY watch.
PSP in red.


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art.
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